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11 August 2009 @ 05:42 pm
without you, i just can't breathe  
I've been having a tough time lately (which is why I have not been posting; sorry, guys!). I'm trying to get set up to go to college, and it has not been a fun road.

My ideal college is UT Knox so I can be with my best friend who I need more than just about anyone. But it looks like I can't go there this year due to financial issues. So it looks like I'm going to University of Memphis, the place my parents want me to go. My best friend is scared of being alone and has been taking it out on me (which I do not blame her for, honestly; I would be freaking out if I was having to move to Knoxville alone).

Until I finally decided to go to Memphis, my parents were pretty much forcing me to go to Memphis regardless of what I wanted. There was a bunch of yelling and trying to make me feel guilty for wanting to go to Knoxville (including them telling me that my dad was going to have a heart attack and die trying to make enough money for me to go). Mix that in with the verbal beatings I was getting from my best friend, and it has been a bad couple of weeks.

But finally, my mom stepped in and said enough was enough. I was a big girl. I could make my own decisions on where I wanted to go and she would make my dad stop guilt-tripping me. I was already torn up enough, and she realized that they weren't making it any easier.

She backed off and gave me a little bit of room to breathe. And so far, she's been the only one who has done that. Somehow, for now, it's enough.

My mother's understanding, however belated, gives me hope :)
Current Mood: tiredtired
Current Music: No Air- Jordin Sparks
(Deleted comment)
Hollyhollybellsring on August 12th, 2009 01:08 am (UTC)
I love it too. My play count for it is 154 :). Actually, my best friend introduced me to it, haha. It's sort of suiting for the way I'm feeling right now, so.

I hope things work out too. It's been rough, but. I mean, this too shall pass right? It's going to be okay no matter what. Or so I keep telling myself, haha.

I've been worried about you guys too, actually, however stupid that may sound. Like, I mean. You and I are the biggest posters here and stuff, but. I don't know, I've felt disconnected from all of you guys somehow. But I didn't know what I should do and honestly didn't feel like there was any light to share at the moment. I almost felt like I didn't belong here, haha.

It took me until I saw your post to think that maybe this was exactly the place I needed to be right now :)